MMMMMilk.

 Everyone drinks milk.  Cow milk, almond milk, soy milk, help milk.  You know , the usual.  I was so bored with the usual so I decided to get a goat for my own, fresh, all natural goat milk.  I could have gone to a farm to guy a goat, or rescue a goat, but I figured it would be totally easy to hunt a goat in the streets of my neighborhood, so that's what I did.  I just went to the corner of Somerset and Kensington and waited with Cy Cy.  We patiently did squats and planks while we waited, it didn't take long at all.  Three days later I came home with Mr. Cranky. We came home and she made herself comfy in the back farm area.  She made friends with CyCy and the chickens immediately.  She didn't have anywhere to sleep so I made her a crate, it was easy.  I just had to chop down some trees.  Good thing I brought my ax home from the shop last week.  It just took a few minutes and she had a crate that was almost as comfy as my bed.  It is totally easy to milk a goat, all you have to do is put the feeder on the milking stand and place some grain in it.  Then you catch the goat, which really isn't a challenge at all because Mr. Cranky loves me already.  We are like totally BFFs.  Then you just wash down the udder and teats with the sterilized cloth and warm water, wring out cloth and wipe down. I was able to sterilize the cloth in my solar sterilization unit.  I built that three weeks ago, it just took a few minutes.  Anyone can do it, really.  Once the teats are washed, wrap your thumb and forefinger around the base of the teat tightly enough to trap the milk inside the teat. Squeeze with your middle finger, then your ring finger, and then your pinky, in one smooth, successive motion. Keep your grip tight on the base of the teat, or else instead of going into the bucket, the milk will slip right back up into the udder. Totally not the effect you are going for.  Alternate, with one teat being squeezed while the other refills. With practice, you will find an efficient rhythm. Then, once it seems like you have all of the milk you can drink it straight from the bucket, like I did.  Then I made cheese and it was totally easy, anyone can do it.